Day 7........hit a WALL.........

Please take pity on me and show me your love and concern…..

I am hiding in my cubby thoroughly victimized and heartsick!!! There are sandwich fixings in the break room!!! I am not hungry BUT I WANT TO EAT THEM!!!

I have had the WORST 24 hours!

So far I have written about how wonderful, AWESOME and MIRACULOUS the ‘Eat to Live’ plan is!

It has been all rainbows and unicorns….

LAST NIGHT it wasn’t!

YOU can’t overcome emotional eating in a week and NEITHER can I!

It is obvious that I am an emotional eater…food soothes me….or rather I trained myself to let food soothe me…

There are those people who deal with their stress in other ways than eating….sometimes their ways are not healthy either……. 

When you use food for comfort, it shows.

I have had a pretty easy go of so far…no cravings, no desire to emotionally eat…

THEN last night I hit the WALL!  It had been a terribly anxious day at work, 2 co-workers were fired, friends of mine from my own team....

No matter how hard you work here, you have to have the numbers and my friends just didn’t..... a lot of us struggle to get the numbers…I am usually okay with mine, but this environment is so frightening at times…the constant concern, the fear, “is this the day that they tire of me and my numbers?”     

By the time I got home I was a nervous wreck……the cravings started about a half an hour before I left work, I was being pulled by a heavy-duty magnet to the vending machine for crackers, cookies, a BEAR CLAW!

I resisted, but again by the time I got home I was struggling. I wanted a Maverick Bahama Mama hot dog, kettle chips and a Pepsi, a far cry away from the plant based diet that I had been eating….I laid on my bed and the urge was so strong to give in….

I wasn’t hungry, but that is NOT the point and NEVER is to an emotional eater….I KNEW THAT THE Bahama Mama hot dog, kettle chips and a Pepsi would make me feel better! I can’t explain it, but it really does…..

But that is unhealthy, I resisted the urge.....

I remembered talking with my counselor as he asked me what the other people around me did to deal with stress…the ones that aren’t overweight…and so I went and played an hour of Plants vs. Zombies….the game distracted me, I was able to go to sleep later and the urgings passed with the dark (kinda)….PHEW!!!