Day 1...........

Though today is really not 'Day 1' of my being 'unpaused'...

it is just that today holds significance for me...over the weekend I have come to some really deep revelations about my life.

"What I have been doing is not going to get me to where I want to be."

This statement holds true in most every aspect of my life, physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual.

#1. The job I do is not for me. Being given a formal written reprimand in my personnel file on Thursday proved that. I have been asking myself the question every day, "Can I learn to just get along with this job?", Thursday showed me, "NO"!

#2. Sara has talked me into a new way of eating, I have been scared to death of it, but today was my first day. My weight is a battle that I have been fighting for about 20 years....Once Hope asked me when I would accept and admit that what I was doing to resolve me weight issue wasn't working. Well today I admit it, I still sit here at most likely 280, nearly the same weight as before my surgery, and I am still 'using' food for comfort and still eating to de-stress or feel better. I have a quote on my phone that reminds me that "If hunger isn't the problem, eating is NOT the solution".  

'Eat to Live' by Joel Fuhram

Many times I just blow right through that saying and eat my guts out. It is time to reacquaint my body to what food is actually for............

.............Hence Day 1.

Breakfast was wonderful, a 
huge container of chunked oranges, strawberries and melon, there was a little container of salted sunflower seeds to sprinkle on the fruit, which I did after I had eaten about half of it. I am way full..... It was beautiful to look at and very yummy, very pleasing....I couldn't have done this on my own.... Sara and Winter worked for about 4 hours yesterday shopping, chunking, dividing and making meals for all of us.....here is how they made my breakfast and lunch....
 

so well....meal one, day one...


Here is a picture of my lunch!

This will be meal 2 day 1....


I am a little frightened about making such a radical change, I am frighted about failing and not being able to stick with this plant based diet for 6 weeks.....
I am excited to deox my body and do good things for myself, I am excited at the prospect of finally finding a way to eat and live and not be 280 pounds....


I am excited that my 2 daughters love me enough to do this for me.....if between my emotional upheaval over my life and job I had to make all of this happen, I can tell you that it wouldn't.....and I would still be stuck trying to make something happen for myself the easy way....